Dear Frances Avery,

Hello! My little lucky charm! Have you read through my previous Momma Diaries entries? You're probably wondering why I started this series just now.  It's been roughly a month since we moved back in with your Mamita. A lot has happened and I know that one day, I will probably have to tell you why, how and what happened.  

A few weeks ago, (with all pride and yabang) I thought I had it all figured out. Mommy made herself believe that in the future it's all going to be easy peasy since Mom also came from a broken family. I tell myself, "it'd be easy to explain when you grow up" or "I'll cross the bridge when I get there"  Sometimes, I also tell myself "Hmm... Mom was a single parent and I turned out okay, I'm sure you will too" However, as days pass it gets harder and harder to grasp everything that has been happening and even harder to try to think of ways as to how I will explain things to you in the future.  At night, I think of answers to possible questions you might ask me in the future.  I also think of ways how to avoid it, should those tragic questions arise during meal times or bonding times. Then something happened...

A few nights ago, during bedtime.  You were lying down between me and Mamita and being your usual self (touching our faces and poking our eyes while drinking your milk) while we were talking.  In the middle of a very serious conversation, you suddenly sat up asked me and Mamita to hug you while holding your arms wide open and then you gave us both a very sweet kiss on the cheek.  As if telling us not to worry too much and that you love us very much.  It gave me so much joy that I cried.  

You are 2.5 years old as of writing, my baby girl. You are currently undergoing occupational therapy for your speech delay.  You have very few words that you can speak for your age, but at that moment, my princess, I heard you loud and clear.

That night is what brought me to start this series.  When you grow older, we will probably fight and have misunderstandings --- believe me, I will forever dread the day when you become a teenager, oh no. --- In those times, I hope you read these.   Although I am not exactly sure what I want to achieve in starting this, but I do know this... I hope one day, this will help you understand Mommy and also help you when you also become a Mom in the very very very very very very very very very distant future.  

Baby girl, mommy has been through a lot in the past months, but whatever hardships or obstacle I have experienced, it was always you who gave me hope and strength.  I hope that despite fact that Mommy and Daddy are no longer together, you never lose the (happy) light that shines within you AND ALWAYS REMEMBER that no matter what, you are the best thing that ever happened to our life.

---

Now, enough milk and eat your breakfast! Love you!

(WARNING: STAGE  ATE AHEAD!)  

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BEFORE you think of me being so full of myself ("lakas nito maka-artista mag advise tungkol sa rumours") this is just one those things I want to share and laugh about. This may not be a very substantial blog post, but I promise I have a point. Hehe! This is actually inspired by the brother whom I was with some nights ago --- he said "Ate, bigyan kita advice ikakayaman mo to, gawa ka ng libro --- "Fake News ng Buhay Ko" --- And I thought, hmmm... I can't write a book, but I can definitely write this post.

We had this small family argument/meeting where my Aunt started blurting out stories she heard about me that kept me and brother laughing.  Mind you, she started nagging about me being in the middle of these horrible rumours (when I was younger) while it was actually the younger sister and brother who was the topic of the argument.  You know, the classic Filipino Family scenario where the eldest gets all the blame for the younger siblings rebellious ways because you weren't such a good example back in the day? That's what happened.  -- But hello, rumours nga eh! Can't believe my Aunt actually believed them!



Anyway...

Just so I can make my point, let me give you a brief background as to how these old "rumours"  my Aunt was talking about started.  I lived in Marikina all my life and as you know, it's a very small city with tight knit communities.  Almost everyone here are either relatives, friends, friend of a friend and so on --- you get the picture, right?  And because the city is so small, people from within the city usually hang out in the same places and pretty much does the same things.  In effect, we all move about one tiny world within the city.  In such a tiny place, with so many people and too many things happening, stories are bound to be written and of course rumours are to be whispered from one ear to another.

Despite living in Marikina all my life, I was the "new girl" back in high school.  It was always --- That girl who used to live in that 4-Storey house and studied in an all girls private school, but lost almost all their family fortune when her grandfather died and was forced to live a simple life. --- That's a 37 word statement that basically sums up my teenage life, but you won't believe how much more words people were able to squeeze in them to make my story more dramatic and colourful.  As if it wasn't dramatic enough.  The rumours were as mild as I was the "naghirap" girl and as worse as "pakawala" or that 5 letter word we call the people we super love and super hate, or just you know, a female dog.

I did not write this post to defend myself from those rumours.  I can't blame whoever made it in the past, the person must've had a basis for all them.  After all, I wasn't the nicest and most proper teenager back then.  I wanted to write this post, because I'm pretty sure there are teenagers out there going through it as well.  Might even be worse in this day and age given how irresponsible some kids use social media as a weapon against their peers.

I am writing this post to tell you, whoever you are who is in the middle of a really bad rumour, to just LAUGH.  Really, just laugh it all out.  Laugh it out with your friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your family or whoever.  Don't let it get to you and don't let it eat you.  Don't feel the need to explain yourself to everyone.  If you do feel the need to explain, which is normal, explain only to the people you love dearly.  Don't make the same mistake I did of trying to please everyone around me.  It's not going to happen, just as "so fetch" wasn't going to happen for Regina George.  I made that mistake just so they would believe me.  In the end, it backfired and all went kaput right in front of my face.

Remember, you're no Kim K. You can't manipulate these rumours and convert them into cash.  The only thing you can do is laugh about it and just be with the people who love you and believe you.  Learn to block the negativity because believe me, they will only get worse.  Just when you think rumours are over and ends in high school, they get worse in college and even scarier when you start working.  As early as now, learn to block them and laugh about it.

These things are inevitable, specially if you are like the younger me who is all over the place.  It's part of growing up.  We can't please everyone and we have to accept that sometimes, there are just people who live for the rumours or fake news as the world of social media calls it now. As I always say to friends, bigay niyo na sakanila kaligayahan nila, baka kasi boring buhay nila kaya ganon. In english, let them be.  :P

Just be thankful, kasi trending ka hehe, kidding aside --- just be thankful of the things that you have in your life, moreover be thankful that you are not one those individuals who waste their time spreading rumours because that in itself says a lot about a persons character.

Nawala na naman ako sa internet world lately, guys. Sorry. I've been super stressed out with finances and a bit overworked since you know, BER months is kill yourself month in the advertising world.  Not complaining though --- just making that clear.  Just saying this because I want to share something I do to destress (apart from binge watching K-Dramas ANNNDD Chinese Dramas --- I found a super cute series, I'll share it with you next time)

Anyway, one of the things I do to destress and break away from all the corporate slavery is look at some stuff I love and like in the internet or just anywhere then make them into something I can put in  shirts. I know, it's not that original, but I do this mostly because I'm a shirt kind of girl, but I can't find shirts that I actually like (in the PH, at least) So, what I normally do is make them myself.  I do a bit of tweaking and bring them to the nearest shirt heat press while you wait station.  As we all know, heat pressed prints breaks and chips of in time and a single shirt can't actually go under the silkscreen process, because HELLO isa lang yun, hindi tayo mayaman.  

As I did my research on what other options I can use, I came across this really cool website, Fundr by Custom Thread.  This website became the solution to my shirt printing problem and more!  The likes of it are already famous and widely used abroad, but they're the first one I saw doing it here in the PH. 

I'm not sure how long Fundr has been in the business but they've already worked with local bands like Kwjan, Ransom Collective and Callalily.  Aside from that, they print your designs on 100% cotton shirts and use direct to garment (DTG) printing.  Not only do they make your shirt for you, they also give you an avenue to sell your shirts in their marketplace! Super cool nito guys.  

One day, I was just planning to destress and make myself a couple of shirts and voila! Instant business for me too!  

The website is very east to navigate and gives you a lot of guidelines and options too!  This is super perfect for work at home parents, bloggers, freelance artists, etc.  Fundr removes the hassle of managing an online shop by doing all the production and shipping them out for you.  All you have to do is create your design and upload it to your Fundr page.  

Check out their website to find out more and start your own Fundr Shop! And while in the process of checking out their site and making a decision whether you'd want to try them out, check out my fundr page too --- see that SHOP TICK TOCK ITS LOCKED button on the blog side bar --- Just click and start shopping!