Hello! My little lucky charm! Have you read through my previous Momma Diaries entries? You're probably wondering why I started this series just now. It's been roughly a month since we moved back in with your Mamita. A lot has happened and I know that one day, I will probably have to tell you why, how and what happened.
A few weeks ago, (with all pride and yabang) I thought I had it all figured out. Mommy made herself believe that in the future it's all going to be easy peasy since Mom also came from a broken family. I tell myself, "it'd be easy to explain when you grow up" or "I'll cross the bridge when I get there" Sometimes, I also tell myself "Hmm... Mom was a single parent and I turned out okay, I'm sure you will too" However, as days pass it gets harder and harder to grasp everything that has been happening and even harder to try to think of ways as to how I will explain things to you in the future. At night, I think of answers to possible questions you might ask me in the future. I also think of ways how to avoid it, should those tragic questions arise during meal times or bonding times. Then something happened...
A few nights ago, during bedtime. You were lying down between me and Mamita and being your usual self (touching our faces and poking our eyes while drinking your milk) while we were talking. In the middle of a very serious conversation, you suddenly sat up asked me and Mamita to hug you while holding your arms wide open and then you gave us both a very sweet kiss on the cheek. As if telling us not to worry too much and that you love us very much. It gave me so much joy that I cried.
You are 2.5 years old as of writing, my baby girl. You are currently undergoing occupational therapy for your speech delay. You have very few words that you can speak for your age, but at that moment, my princess, I heard you loud and clear.
That night is what brought me to start this series. When you grow older, we will probably fight and have misunderstandings --- believe me, I will forever dread the day when you become a teenager, oh no. --- In those times, I hope you read these. Although I am not exactly sure what I want to achieve in starting this, but I do know this... I hope one day, this will help you understand Mommy and also help you when you also become a Mom in the very very very very very very very very very distant future.
Baby girl, mommy has been through a lot in the past months, but whatever hardships or obstacle I have experienced, it was always you who gave me hope and strength. I hope that despite fact that Mommy and Daddy are no longer together, you never lose the (happy) light that shines within you AND ALWAYS REMEMBER that no matter what, you are the best thing that ever happened to our life.
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Now, enough milk and eat your breakfast! Love you!
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This open letter does not wish to accomplish anything. This is merely a series created by Alex Carpio for www.ticktockitslocked.com and for her peace of mind.
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