Dear You Love Me
Dear You... Love, Me. | Frances Avery | 7
October 13, 2019 • Dear You Love Me, Personal
Dear Frances Avery,
Baby, it's really true when they told me to spend as much time as I can with you, because time flies really fast. I can still remember the day my doctor said you needed to come out earlier than expected, because Mommy lost all her water and that you may not be breathing anymore if you'd stay a few more hours longer inside me. And now, you are 4!
It's been 4 years since I fought the anaesthesia to make sure you were ok. It's been 4 years since I received the greatest gift I've ever had in my life, YOU.
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Happy Birthday my little princess! |
One day, when you're older, I will remind you that your 4th birthday party was actually a surprise! Your Mita called me on a Wednesday afternoon (your birthday was a Friday) asking if we had any plans. We were supposed to have a sinigang and crabsticks party at home like you wanted, but lo and behold, Mita had already reserved for a McDonalds party for you! Mommy only had 2 days to invite all our family and friends and we are very lucky to have the sweetest people in our life because almost all of them showed up despite the short notice.
I want you to take a look at these photos and remember how many people loves you. No matter how hard the challenges are that you go through while growing up, always remember that you have a family that loves you and will always be with you every step of the way.
Love,
Mommy
***
Dear You... Love, Me. | Frances Avery | 6
August 04, 2019 • Dear Frances Avery, Dear You Love Me, Personal
Dear Avery,
It's been awhile since I had the time to write to you. It's probably because we've been spending more time together and you've progressed a lot. AND also, work has not been smooth sailing the past few weeks. I'm really sorry.
I remember writing to you so we can track your speech progress and other new things you learned to do, but it's been months since you stopped your OT classes. You've started going to playschool too!
It's still a struggle to wake you up in the morning, but you are enjoying school so much! You are not like the other kids who starts to throw tantrums at the school door because they don't want parents leaving them. You, you push me away and say "Bye!" the minute your teachers says "Goodmorning, Avery!" And as soon as I pick you up from school, you always, ALWAYS tell me that you had so much or too much fun!
That's what I've always wanted for you and will always want for you anak, to be happy. To be happy in everything that you do and to be happy with all the people in your life.
I may not be able to provide you with a conventional family, but do know that Mommy will always work her hardest to make you happy. Remember that.
One day (and hoping that is in the really really distant future) you will find out how hard it is to be happy or even maintain a decent smile on your face. I want you to go back to this. Go back to the simplest things that make you happy.
When life gives you a hard time and it seems like it's going nowhere ---- Stop, breathe and remember that I love you. And as I always say, Laban lang!
I love you, my princess.
Dear You... Love, Me | Vol. 5 | An Open Letter To The 2009 & Present You
August 06, 2018 • Dear You Love Me
Let me start by saying, I AM SORRY. Sorry for everything I did and did not do.
Believe it or not, it's been years since I wanted to get that out of my chest. There has always been this lingering feeling of guilt and pain every time I think about you. Yes, I do think about you sometimes. Passing by a certain place reminds me of you. Hearing a certain song reminds me of you. Seeing a heart-shaped box reminds me of you.
Ever since things ended, I've been trying to find the right words to explain why things turned out the way they did. How I felt and how I thought it was the right thing to do at that time. On the contrary, I think I was also trying not to say anything because it felt like I did not have the right to do so. I also have a lot of questions in mind, but then again, what right do I have to even ask questions?
There is one thing I am sure of though, I let my fears and insecurities get the best of me. I stopped not because I did not want "US". I stopped because I was afraid to even start "US"
And so, here I am years after trying to find the right words to explain my side of the story. Unfortunately, even after several years, I still don't have the right words. I can, however, borrow the words of one band we both like.
Read and listen, I hope this makes sense
We became close at a time when I wasn't so sure of myself. During that time, I hated myself for all the decisions and choices I've made. I was this big ball of negativity which surprisingly, you welcomed with open arms. I barely remember how I got there. I just know that you were the only person who, without inhibitions, accepted all the baggage I had with me.
There is one thing I am sure of though, I let my fears and insecurities get the best of me. I stopped not because I did not want "US". I stopped because I was afraid to even start "US"
And so, here I am years after trying to find the right words to explain my side of the story. Unfortunately, even after several years, I still don't have the right words. I can, however, borrow the words of one band we both like.
Read and listen, I hope this makes sense
~
We became close at a time when I wasn't so sure of myself. During that time, I hated myself for all the decisions and choices I've made. I was this big ball of negativity which surprisingly, you welcomed with open arms. I barely remember how I got there. I just know that you were the only person who, without inhibitions, accepted all the baggage I had with me.
~
And then it became a relationship we couldn't put a label on. People around us started seeing what was going on and thought they had the right to comment about it. This is when it started going haywire. Why? Because I listened to them.
Maybe they were right. It was a Television Romance.
Did you think the same?
~
And then they said "it was bound to fail"
Bound to fail -- And it wasn't just the people around us. It was me. I didn't give it a chance because I wasn't sure how you REALLY felt. And I wanted assurance so bad --- which was wrong. I hope you had this figured out from that heart-shaped box of letters.
If not, I guess I didn't tell you enough, or maybe I wasn't really honest with you at that time.
~
~
So you see, I would like to believe that it was the right kind of thing at the wrong time and setting. And even that --- still sounds complicated.
But, be that as it may, I would like you to know that I am happy where you are now and how things went for you. I really am. I hope you are too.
Thank you for being a friend, again. Also, I hope this answers your question.
Love,
Alex
~~~
This open letter does not wish to accomplish anything. This is merely a series created by Alex Carpio for www.ticktockitslocked.com and for her peace of mind.
~
Want to do the "Dear You... Love, Me Series", too? Don't forget to link up to this blog and share 'em with me too!
Cover Photo: @rolands.rivera
Dear You...Love, Me | Vol. 4 | Me
August 04, 2018 • Dear You Love Me
Dear Me,
Congratulations!
You're slowly getting back on track. I know it's been a rough road to travel, but you're finally back on your feet! So, give yourself a pat on the back and here are a few reminders before you turn a year older in 2 months.
Baby Steps. Don't rush it. Nothing good comes out of anything that's rush and done on impulse. Your whole life has been about doing what you want when you want. Remember that your decisions are not just about YOU now. Remember that it's you and Avery now. Everything you do if for you and her.
Don't be too hard on yourself. STOP thinking that nobody loves you! Your emo days are over! WAKE UP! But kidding aside, stop thinking that nobody loves you because of all the wrong things you've done. You made wrong decisions in the past (and will probably make more in the future - hopefully not the same ones) but that does not mean that nobody loves you. Stop blaming yourself for things which you have no control over, but also learn how to own up to your mistakes. THAT IS LIFE. No need to blame yourself.
FAMILY is everything. You should know by now that no matter what happens, yo family go yo back! Keep this in mind and live it. It is one important value that you should teach your daughter. Show her that family should always come first.
Love yourself. Remember, it is your moral obligation to love yourself. Love yourself and know you're worth. Know your value and don't settle for less.
Be the person that you would want your daughter to be proud of.
Lastly, PRAY. Give thanks ALWAYS.
Natually, there are still a lot more hurdles to overcome in the future. Just remember that it's not the end of the world and STOP ACTING LIKE IT IS everytime you are in a rut. It is just a phase and it shall pass.
Copish?
Love,
Alex
~~~
This open letter does not wish to accomplish anything. This is merely a series created by Alex Carpio for www.ticktockitslocked.com and for her peace of mind.
~
Want to do the "Dear You... Love, Me Series", too? Don't forget to link up to this blog and share 'em with me too!
Dear You... Love, Me | Vol. 3 | Frances Avery
July 13, 2018 • Dear Frances Avery, Dear You Love Me, Momma Diaries
I miss you. I really do. I know we haven't been together much lately because Mommy is super busy with work, but I'd like you to know that I miss you every minute of everyday! I only get to be with you less than half a day for the past week and just 3 days the week before.
I'm just happy that I still see that wide fang face smile every time you see me. In a few years time, you'll probably feel bad that I don't spend as much time with you, but let me reassure you that when that time comes, Mommy will make sure that she has much time with you than work. It's just that right now, Mommy needs to do a little more work and hustling so that we're ready when it's school time and when you grow up. Mommy needs to do a little more work so she can provide you with the best things she can. Remember that all that time I don't spend with you, I do it for you.
You've been doing good with therapy too! Your teacher says you talk to him now. Words aren't that clear but you try to talk to him more and even attempt to tell stories. You've improved A LOT in the past 5 months and it's actually Mommy who needs to do a little bit of homework. Your teacher thinks that I may not be consistent with our daily routine and that's all my fault. I promise I'll do better, OK?
Mommy's still at work now, but just finishing up a few things. I cannot wait to see you when I get home! I love you, Avery! <
~~~
This open letter does not wish to accomplish anything. This is merely a series created by Alex Carpio for www.ticktockitslocked.com and for her peace of mind.
~
Want to do the "Dear You... Love, Me Series", too? Don't forget to link up to this blog and share 'em with me too!
Dear You... Love, Me | Vol. 2 | Frances Avery
May 20, 2018 • Dear Frances Avery, Dear You Love Me, Momma Diaries
Dear Frances Avery,
It's been 3 months since we started with your Occupational Therapy sessions. Your teacher says that you've been improving and that you've been following instructions well during your sessions. Though, your teacher noticed that you get a little impatient with some activities and gets distracted easily. Wonder who you got that from? Hmmm.
You haven't spoken to your teacher yet, just always showing gestures and pointing. However, I did tell your teacher that you're actually very noisy at home. Sometimes with clear words like "dede" "Tiyo D" "Nanan" "Mama" "Coco" "Ouch", most times just mumbling gibberish and shouting. He says that's a good thing. So, we will continue whatever it is that we're doing at home, okay? More bedtime stories and more singing!
It's also been 3 months since we moved out. We stayed at your Mamita's place for almost 2 months and now we're just settling in at the new house with your Tiyo D, Nanan and Tito Kekel. You wake up at 7 to 8 AM in the morning everyday, you give me a kiss and go straight to your Nanan's Room.
Out of all the kids that live in our place, you are most often than not, the noisiest. You shout at the top of your lungs when you play with Sari and you always try to get Punky's attention.
We also got your damaged front teeth pulled out and had flouride varnish! You were so brave at the dentist, my darling princess. The dental aide at the clinic said that a 6-year-old cried more than you did! Well, you did always have a high pain tolerance, which always scares me because when you cry of pain, I know that it's actually VERY painful.
You've been extra clingy too, the past few days. You've been giving me and everyone in the house more hugs and kisses that you usually do. I'm not sure if you're feeling the tension and problems that have been occurring in the family lately, but know this my darling princess --- YOU ARE OUR SUNSHINE. You literally make us happy... when skies are gray :)
Just leave the problems to Mommy and continue to be that little ray of sunshine to me, to us. I love you, my darling.
~~~
This open letter does not wish to accomplish anything. This is merely a series created by Alex Carpio for www.ticktockitslocked.com and for her peace of mind.
~
Want to do the "Dear You... Love, Me Series", too? Don't forget to link up to this blog and share 'em with me too!
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