My Birthday Month & Things I Learned

And just like that... my birthday month is over.

This is the first time in my 2* years of existence that my October was as quiet as a mouse in a rat hole. For the longest time, since I was allowed to go out with friends and all, October was THE most fun/beer/narcs/drama filled month out of all the 12 months.  In short, October was my epic month! It isn't called OCTOBERfest for nothing.

BUTTTTTT, since this is my first birthday as a mother, everything has changed.  My October this year is the total opposite of all the past Octobers in my life. Not that I am complaining! I am actually loving it. It's very... mature? *did I just say mature? haha!*

Anyway, enough with the intros, just let me share with you the things I loved and learned about this years birthday month :)

For starters, it was my birthday on October 11. I didn't plan on celebrating that day.  I had no money, no sleep and still adjusting to the whole new situation, but Ninang & Ren wouldn't allow it.  Hence, the very simple celebration with the family, extended family and MY family. 

I really had no plans of celebrating my birthday yesterday... Not because of anything depressing or whatever. It just felt like my birthday was already over because I had the mindset that Avery would arrive after my birthday. Since I underwent emergency c-section 3 weeks prior my due date it felt like October 11 was already over. ANYWAY, Ninang & Ren still made sure that my day wouldn't be over without a celebration. It was just a simple dinner with my family (MY family & MY OWN family) + 2 slices of my favorite red velvet cake (because it was the last 2 pieces available & Ren was just on foot and was literally running to get it just to surprise me 😍) + my little zing (who is healthy despite coming out too early) Simple, but it was the best birthday ever. Thank you, Lord for the gift of family, motherhood, love & life. I couldn't ask for more. PS. Thank you for all the greetings. Ang tanda ko na po. Haha! PPS. I wish you were still here Ma! Keep watching over us. Love you.

A photo posted by Judi Alexis Carpio (@lexidoodledoo) on Oct 12, 2015 at 12:34am PDT

Avery turned 1 month old on October 27 :) Just look at my precious little zing <3

After more than a decade of friendship, as per Zohreh, we finally have a "mature meeting" :) Got to be with 2 of my best friends after a verrryyyy long time.  Glad that Ethel and her family are settling here in PH.  Well, Zohreh's still based in SG, but at least it's still in Asia. Haha!

Avery's first Halloween and of course, she had to be a cute little panda!

Someone's getting ready for her first halloween 😍🐼 #francesavery

A photo posted by Judi Alexis Carpio (@lexidoodledoo) on Oct 30, 2015 at 8:20pm PDT

***

See? Not much happened this year, but let me tell you, this year has been probably the MOST lesson filled month of my life. My birthday/birthday month this year may not have been the usual, but this year has definitely taught me a lot of things about my family, the people around me and myself.  

My family. The one constant unit in my life and also the one I have been constantly ignoring for the past years. My birthday has always been about going out and getting wasted with friends.  I barely remember the time where I decently celebrated it with my family (I was 9, I think?) and this year was the first time in a verrryyyyy looonnngggg time and it felt great. There was no liquor, loud music and party poppers... just plain old fashion dinner and embarrassing throwback stories.

It was on my birthday that I realized that my family is here to stay.  It doesn't matter how many times my siblings and I have thrown punches at each other or how many times Ninang  says she hates me and will never talk to me again. Family is family and whatever happens. they will be beside you no matter what.

The people around me will not always understand why I am the way I am.  They will not always give me their time of the day.  I am not (always) their priority.  Nevertheless, this should not make me feel unwanted or neglected.  It's just the way the world is and sometimes or most of the time, We need to take action and do it on our own and that's not a bad thing.  I learned that the people around me are not literally helping hands, but rather a reality check that you are not the only problematic person in this world, get up and do your part!

Help will come when it is needed, I assure you that. I learned that after a lot of whining, tantrums, overly dramatic breakdowns and occasional-unnecessary-violence -_-

Me, Myself  & I.  Through the years, I have already learned a lot of things about myself, but this year I have received one of the greatest learning opportunities in life and that my friends is Motherhood.

Functioning automatically on sleepless nights, getting used to smelling like poop/soiled milk and living like a milking cow is just a few among the long list of things I didn't know I could do, until I become a mother.  The most important (and BEST) thing I learned about myself though is that I have more love inside of me to share and give.

Just when I thought that all that love and caring has been exhausted throughout the years of heartbreaks and pain, I realized that there was more of that from where it came from, only it was kept for a special moment.  That moment is when I saw my little angel, Avery. :)

Avery & motherhood made me realize that I was capable of giving out so much love (so much love I tell you.) It is like falling in love for the first time, the feeling is so familiar, but also unfamiliar all at the same time.

I am not so good with words, but I hope I did make my point and people can learn from it.  I also hope that wasn't confusing? Haha! But if it was, just let me end this post with a picture of the greatest gift I have received for my birthday and then tell me, how can I not fall in love with this angel?