Life Lately | Hello, 2019

Life lately? I'm tired, but alive. I'm exhausted, but again, alive and still trying to make it.

My 2018 was like a Japanese rice ball wrapped in bad decisions, rolled in a bed of failed "new beginnings" and topped with financial difficulties.  

I intended to end 2018 by leaving that bad serving of bento, wishing for a better serving in 2019.  However, as they say in the books and movies, fate has a funny way of showing you "it's going to be alright."  Too dramatic for you? Well, let me start by sharing with you how I celebrated my holidays last year.

For the first time ever, Avery and I celebrated Christmas with my Tita Marvi.  We had a simple samgyupsal and shabu shabu for Noche Buena.  It was a pretty fun celebration.  Small, but we were genuinely happy because everybody spoke, shared stories and no one was acting out of character.  I woke up the next day with a 39 degree fever and flu.  Eventually, Avery caught the virus and we were both in an out of the hospital during the last week of December 2018.  On the 31st however, durung Avery's second trip to the ER, she was advised to be confined.  

My daughter and I said hello to 2019 with a take out box from Alex III for me and a bottle of milk, dextrose and bunch of other medicines for her. 

We were discharged 5 days later and it just kind of went downhill from there.  Avery's confinement came of as a financial surprise, but I was more surprised when I found out I wasn't eligible to use my Philhealth. Talk about being unprepared or just plain malas. 

Mid January, things started to pick up a little.  Office was toxic after the holidays, but we did find the time to unwine A BIT before January ended.

2 Day Event at Taal Vista Hotel, Tagaytay

Synergy at Bakasyunan, Zambales

Just when I thought things were just about to get better, I received a 4:00 AM call from my Tita Marvi's phone.  This was when I was just supposed to get ready for a set up for another event.  I literally opened my eyes about a minute before my phone started ringing. It was my Tito on the phone. He was shouting. He was panicking.  My heart stopped when I saw my phone ringing at that hour.  Something happened to Tita Marvi. I knew that feeling. I knew, because I had the very same type of call about seven years ago. Same time of the day -- informing me my mom was gone.

Tito Jon said it was a heart attack, but an hour later, my cousin called back.  Just when I saw his name in my caller ID, I already knew what he was going to say.  Tita Marvi has left us.

I originally planned to make this blog post a bit long. I wanted to share how short life is and how we should learn to forgive and value everyone around us, but my eyes are too watery to even finish, my mind is too tired to think and my heart is too heavy to finish on a tone I originally planned to.

Bottomline, FAMILY IS EVERYTHING. Love them. Show it to them.

If there is one thing I have learned in all the passing loved ones in my life ---

It is the regret that death brings upon us that is always more painful.

Put that in mind and maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't be wishing for a reset button.