Friday's 10 Happy Things | 13

August 03, 2018 •


Hey it's back! Back again. :P Life's not interesting, as usual, but nevertheless, there are a lot of things to be thankful for! So here we go... Let's be thankful of the little things in life that make us happy!

1) The past few months have been a nightmare for me and my soul sister, Gab.  After months of fighting and struggling, she and I are finally back on track.  We've been a little lost and confused emotionally and literally since we've been trying to solve problems that are bigger than us and trying to figure out as to how we can save not just ourselves, but everyone involved.  Fortunately for us, things have been getting better lately AND we hope it'll continue for us both. --- I think this has got to be the happiest thing of ALL!

2) Got to see Mt. Mayon in all its glory! Didn't happen this week, but since it's been awhile since I wrote this series, I am including this!

3) And this --- I got to see Manila Grey play live at Black Market! It was a crazy night of music and taking care of drunk friends. :P
4) Avery has been doing good with her therapy sessions! She's A LOT more sociable now and speaks more.  She calls me "MAMA" now! I know it's no biggie given her age, but you guys have no idea how much that made my heart jump with joy!

5) Meteor Garden - 2018. WHY? WATCH IIITTTT NOW! I mean it! Or see why here!

6) Old Friends. After 2 years of not seeing each other, finally had a date night with these guys last night!

7) This baby girl making faces with Mommy. <3

8) Round Up turned 1! Go and check out the site, will you? Like us on Facebook, too! And follow on Instagram!

9) Rekindled Friendship. After almost 7 years of not talking to a friend, finally had a chance to rekindle that relationship and it's been amazing :)

10) After all the hardships and mishaps, I am still alive.  If that's not something to be happy for, then I don't know what is :D Also, my little princess just kissed me goodnight.

Share with me things that made you happy lately!

Goodnight and Happy Weekend!
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Quick Getaway: Upper East Side (Antipolo)

August 01, 2018 •


And by upper east side, I just mean Upper Antipolo Rizal area. Pa-sosyal lang guys. :)

Anyway, I usually don't post about places I go to because I am so bad in documenting the important things that it's pretty much useless to blog about it, but this place is really a surprise to me and thought it was worth posting on the blog.

So, it was one fine morning with the fam and after 20-30 minutes of just cruising the road without anything but mountains and trees comes this hidden gem of a place in Boso-Boso, Antipolo Rizal. A rustic, homey hotel named after the place where it's built.


Boso-Boso Hotel or Boso-Boso Highlands Resort and Convention Center located along Marcos Highway (mind you, its a verrryyy looonngg highway) overlooking Boso-Boso valley and facing the Sierra Madre Mountain Ranges.

The place has a great view without all the city pollution. It was literally a breath of fresh air.  It's a good (quick) getaway from the city without having to pass thru toll gates and such.


They have a simple breakfast menu (silogs and pastas) which I believe still has room for improvement (and I really hope they do improve it because then it would be a total package!)  I got pancakes and bacon for me and Avery and everybody else got Tocilog, Tapsilog and Adobo. --- No, I don't have a photo of our food because again, going back to my intro, I am so bad at documenting things like this ~_~

After breakfast, Avery still wanted to stay because she was actually enjoying the view (she wasn't afraid of heights! It felt like my heart was on the floor every time she looked over the glass railing) We decided to have coffee and hot coco.  Their coffee and cake selection actually compliment each other.  Plus the interiors of the place, it gives you all that homey feels.

Each table had a different painting!
Little princess enjoyed her mango shake --- it was a large serving and we had to ask for a smaller glass so she could drink it.
I highly recommend this place if you're in it just to get away from city stress, but not quite leaving the city.  This place is perfect for a tita's brunch with a millennial touch given the nice aesthetics of the place which is totally instagramable!

Learn more about the place here. Drop by (remember to bring a jacket!) and let me know what you think!
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Dear You... Love, Me | Vol. 3 | Frances Avery

July 13, 2018 • , ,

Hi Baby,

I miss you. I really do. I know we haven't been together much lately because Mommy is super busy with work, but I'd like you to know that I miss you every minute of everyday!  I only get to be with you less than half a day for the past week and just 3 days the week before.

I'm just happy that I still see that wide fang face smile every time you see me.  In a few years time, you'll probably feel bad that I don't spend as much time with you, but let me reassure you that when that time comes, Mommy will make sure that she has much time with you than work.  It's just that right now, Mommy needs to do a little more work and hustling so that we're ready when it's school time and when you grow up.  Mommy needs to do a little more work so she can provide you with the best things she can. Remember that all that time I don't spend with you, I do it for you.

You've been doing good with therapy too! Your teacher says you talk to him now.  Words aren't that clear but you try to talk to him more and even attempt to tell stories.  You've improved A LOT in the past 5 months and it's actually Mommy who needs to do a little bit of homework.  Your teacher thinks that I may not be consistent with our daily routine and that's all my fault.  I promise I'll do better, OK?

Mommy's still at work now, but just finishing up a few things. I cannot wait to see you when I get home! I love you, Avery! <

~~~

This open letter does not wish to accomplish anything.  This is merely a series created by Alex Carpio for www.ticktockitslocked.com and for her peace of mind.
~
Want to do the "Dear You... Love, Me Series", too? Don't forget to link up to this blog and share 'em with me too!
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Kate Spade Death: The Most Important Lesson We Should Learn

June 09, 2018 • , ,

This week, the fashion world was devastated when news broke out that designer and brand founder, Kate Spade committed suicide on June 5.  In an article that appeared on CNN (June 6), Kate Brosnahan Spade, the known designer hanged herself at her Manhattan apartment and was later found by her housekeeper along with a suicide note that mentioned her daughter and husband.
“Kate suffered from depression and anxiety for many years,” Andy said. “She was actively seeking help and working closely with her doctors to treat her disease, one that takes far too many lives. We were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy. There was no indication and no warning that she would do this,” Andy continued." - Andy Spade, HollywoodLife.com
Again, we lost a wonderful soul to depression.[/caption] Although, Kate Spade has no longer been part of the brand for a decade (Kate Spade is now owned by luxury brand, Coach) celebrities and other prominent people were quick to share their sentiments about the designers' sudden demise.






Apart from celebrities and socialites, the world wide web in general also shared their thoughts on how to honor the late designer, but more than that, netizens shared their two cents on depression and suicide as a whole.



Among all the messages shared by people around the world, one post struck and made an impact the most.  On June 6, facebook user, Claudia Herrera shared a very on point message that not only honored the designer but also faced the facts that mental illness is just as serious as any illness we are aware of.  As of writing, the post has been shared 230,836 times and we wish and hope it could be shared more.

*This article was originally published in RoundUp.PH
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Abusive Relationship: Signs, Accepting, Getting Out & Starting Over

May 21, 2018 • ,


Got your attention with "abusive relationship", didn't I? Anyway, before you go ahead and read this post, please be aware that this is not based on scientific or psychological facts. These are all based on MY personal experience. 

I may be a psych graduate, but believe me, there are no theories or medical explanations here. We can't psychologize ourselves after all. These are just plain experiences and how I accepted them, got out of it and how I am trying to start over again.

First things first, let me just get this out --- ONCE physical assault/violence happens, IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. No matter what the excuse is --- drunk, sudden burst of emotions, etc. --- it doesn't matter. If it happened once, it will happen again. As our elders say, pag minsan ka ng sinaktan, mauulit at mauulit yan.

---
1) Overly and Unreasonably Jealous. Of course, at the start of the relationship, this is something you'd consider cute and kilig.  You know those times when you'd actually look forward to him being jealous because you think he's just protective of you?  What if that jealousy turns into an everyday thing? Turns into him being psycho and checking your phone, laptop, social media accounts, etc? Still cute? Cute, but pyscho. 

This was a major red flag, I don't know why I still stayed.  Yeah, I know, because I love him. And how did I cope? I did the same. I also turned psycho and started checking all his social media accounts, etc.  Lo and behold, the reason why he's checking up on mine is that he wanted to make sure I wasn't cheating on facebook or twitter like HE WAS!

If this happened to you, please do yourself a favor, LEAVE. But of course, we love the person, don't we? 

I still stayed.  I still believed he will change, but in the long run it was me who changed. Changed my number, changed my facebook accounts, changed my routine, changed the way I talk, dress, think.  Changed everything according to his liking. Changed everything without knowing that I was slowly losing myself in the process.

2) Making you choose between him and something else.  I was once granted a work-related knowledge transfer opportunity in Australia. I went through panel interviews and was able to get a slot (1/8) out of the 100+ that I applied. YEY! BUT, since I was madly in love with this person whom I thought was my life, I declined. Pag umalis daw ako, wala na siya pagbalik ko. ---- To the one reading this, okay, you can judge me all you want now.

I was offered a dream job from a large telecommunications company, I declined.
I was offered a job from a very very good advertising company, I declined.
I was offered several project-based events for good brands, I declined.

I kept on declining good offers, because it was alsway a choice between him and the opportunity.  Then somewhere along the way, it escalated to me choosing between him and friends, him and personal happines, and worst of all, him and my family.

However, this sign is particularly tricky.  It wasn't always an outright type of choosing.  It wasn't a straight up "ako o sila/iyan", but it was more of a making you feel guilty type of thing. This person knew me too well that he knows how to use the big guns. If there is one thing I hate the most, it's feeling guilty. Instead of having that feeling, I'd just give up and decline.  Instead of having an argument --- which I got really tired of after 6 years of numerous heated arguments --- I'd just give up. 

The worst part --- I shouldn't even feel guilty in the first place. You owe it to yourself to do good with your career and life choices. Don't let other people make you think otherwise.  If he's making you choose (and he doesn't know how to compromise), start thinking about your relationship.

3) Starts Making Choices For You.  During the first 2 years of my relationship, I'd still voice out my choices and opinions.  It would always result to an argument, which I eventually got tired of.  After such time, I just lost the will to fight for my choices and just allowed him to make the choices for me. From clothes, to what I eat, friends, jobs I do, social media posting and everything else.  During our third year together, he made up his mind that he wanted us to live together. I declined and told him we can't but he was very adamant about it, the reason being he doesn't trust me living in our house since all of my cousins and brothers friends (who are mostly boys) stay at the house too much. Imagine that?

I remember that this was one of the very few things I fought for.  I knew that this was going to put a big gap between me and my family.  Until I lost to him, again.  At this point, it wasn't just about "kung mahal mo ko..." or "I will do this because I love you".  It already involved emotional torture and blackmailing.  Now, if that isn't a major red flag, I don't know what is. One day, I woke up and he was already talking to my family, telling them that he's taking me out because "labas pasok po kasi kung sino sinong kaibigan na lalaki nila dito sa bahay niyo" --- Imagine my Ninang's face when she heard that.

From that point on, I don't remember making choices without having to consult him. 

Ladies, what I did here was just wrong in all aspects.  It was hard to get out of the relationship at that time because of all the emotional blackmailing and torture, but believe me when I say that IT WILL PASS.  Have I had the chance to turn back time, I would decline HARD and called the women's desk if he still pushed.

4) Everyday is just a Routine.  That feeling when you wake up and everything just becomes a routine? Nothing is spontaneous and exciting anymore.  You don't feel anything either. No love, no anticipation, no nothing.  If there was any emotion present, it was just fear.  Fear that he wouldn't like what I wear to work today, fear that today's menu might not be to his liking, fear that I would be home an hour late because of my deadlines. 

Fear, fear about everything that you do. Fear that, should he not like anything you did today, he might get violent...

Which brings me to the last and MOST OBVIOUS SIGN OF ALL...


5) Physical Violence. Sinaktan ka? Honey, that is your first (and SHOULD be your ONLY) sign.  Though, I didn't take notice of that, of course. Unfortunately for me, I held on to the idea of forgiveness and the promise of "it will never happen again".  Don't get me wrong, some people do change, but as a person I believe our gut will tell us if a certain person is bound to change or not.  I already knew his violent streak wasn't going to change. It happened first on our second year together. A fist on the face, then a few times after that (which includes a kick and a punch out of the cab), twice when I was pregnant and one more big blow which finally made me leave.

I have a scar on my face which will remind me of my kagagahan for the rest of my life.  It's not a good feeling.  Don't let yourself sink in that black hole.  First thing I should've done was seek help.  If you feel that you're suffering the battered wife syndrome, talk to someone. Talk to your family.  Call the women's desk. Call someone. 

Physically hurting someone is never okay.  Same with emotionally and mentally hurting someone. It's all the same.  It changes you and it scars you forever.  If you ever feel like you don't know yourself anymore, it's time to leave.

HOW TO START AGAIN?

I've realized the signs, accepted that it's never going to be fixed and I finally got out of that sinkhole.  That's just the first part, starting over again is a whole different story.  I'm still trying to find the answer to that question, to be honest.  I think that's probably the reason why I am writing this.  It's been three months since it happened, and it's just now that I finally had the courage to share this.  


I think what I am trying to do now is re-focus.  Focusing my attention on the things that matter, first of which is my daughter. I may have had a really bad relationship, but I would have to admit that there was one good thing about it, and that is my little princess.  She might be a splitting image of the dad, but she will forever be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. 


Second, bringing back the lost pieces of myself.  The past few months has been about work, fixing my portfolio, the blog and most importantly, my relationship with my family and friends.  Slowly, I've been trying to pick up the aspects of my life that make me, ME.

After being in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship for years, trying to know yourself again can be quite challenging.  Believe it or not, it amazed me how much I have forgotten about myself and how much catching up I need to do.  BUT, despite that, I just make sure that I try to enjoy the process.

I know this is not a heart-wrenching post. If any, I think most parts sounds sarcastic and as if it didn't affect me.  That's just me, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt.  Remember, physical abuse leaves marks that heal in time, mental & emotional abuse, on the other hand, leaves a far deeper scar in your mind and soul.

Remember, SEEK HELP. Do not face this alone.

--
Also, sharing this post my best friend shared with me (#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou):

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